Pontefract no longer exists.

In a shock development that saw liquorice share prices plummet American super-boffin, Dr Steven Pinker MRSA PGCE announced that the sleepy northern town is no longer a viable concept. Speaking in front of a sold-out Milton Keynes Superbowl, the acclaimed experimental psychologist dropped the bombshell during his four hour talk entitled “Is Free will free or isn’t it? C’mon!” In a casual aside, he said “Pontefract is no longer viable.”


At first inhabitants of the modest-sized northern fastness carried on going about their business, but then the news began to sink in, and locals began to give their reactions.


“At first I didn’t believe it, but he’s a cognitive scientist isn’t he?”



“I carried on for a day or two, but now I’ve sold the business and I’m moving to Beverly.”



“It’s hard to credit but it’s been on Youtube and everything.”



“How could a man with such lovely wavy hair and a smile like that not be telling the truth?”


“Nora told me that it was nonsense and then she just vanished in a puff of smoke.”


“I’m staying at my Gran’s.”