Sunday, 31 January 2016


Has anyone encountered this syndrome? It’s happened to me a number of times now and I’m beginning to suspect a conspiracy against me, a kind of ganging up by the household gods that inhabit the bathroom. I go in, innocently, to do my ablutions. And then it happens; my glasses are steamed up, I brush the top of the vertical Braun electric toothbrush on the windowsill with my pyjama jacket and it teeters, spins and then topples towards the deodorant canister, hits it and then collides with the upright-positioned toothpaste tubes, the bottle of combined shampoo for greasy hair and moisturizer. Before you know it there is a domino effect of the kind the USA feared would happen in south-east Asia in the early 1960s and for which they went to war. The whole inventory from Superdrug begins to clatter and cascade and I don’t have enough hands to stop it. I know how it will end but am just too far behind the cataclysmic curve. Items tumble to the floor, tops pop off, the security of my feet is gravely compromised and the bathroom floor is suddenly transformed into Ground Zero. I’m left cursing and impotent gazing into the bathroom mirror. Is there anything that can be done?

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