Tuesday 9 May 2017

Some Light Electoral Satire

THINKING ABOUT VOTING TORY IN JUNE?

DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A DECENT PERSON?

What you are saying by voting Tory is:

I want the NHS to be razed to the ground and replaced with a string of palisaded private hospitals for the wealthy nestling behind barbed wire while the aged and sick expire in the muddy environs.

I want unaccountable and gratuitous sadism to become our new national bloodsport.

I want the remnant of our manufacturing industry diverted into making jackboots and Zyklon B.

I want baby-mincing machines installed in community halls.

I want starving pot-bellied children like they have in Yemen and Southern Sudan on the streets of Bolton.

I want the right to kick impoverished disabled people out of their wheelchairs whenever I’m feeling, you know, a bit grumpy.

I want the well-off to swagger down our streets carelessly pushing the homeless into rain-soaked gutters before flicking their still-burning cigar butts in their direction.

I want to be ruled over by a cackling woman with fangs and a tail curled up inside her cape who lives in a gloomy castle on a remote bat-infested promontory.

THINK ABOUT IT! IS THIS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT? WELL, DO YOU??

DECENT PEOPLE DON’T VOTE TORY

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