Friday, 23 February 2018

Leaked Preliminary Findings

Pressed by a tense and worried Laura Kuenssberg ("Prime Minister, can you tell us why human history has not provided us with the outcomes we deserve in the 21st century?") Theresa May swiftly announced a Public Enquiry.
Leaked preliminary findings suggest:
1) The Decline and fall of the Roman Empire was 'disappointing in many respects.'
2) The Ming Dynasty could have 'conformed better to accepted industry standards.'
3) The Third Reich 'could have been handled better.'
4) 100 million deaths under communist regimes 'failed to deliver according to expectations.'
5) Genghis Khan 'broke some rules.'
6) Attila the Hun 'failed to respect human rights now and then.'
6) The British Empire 'occasionally let itself down.'
7) Apartheid was 'regrettable.'
8) We have a right to expect, strategies will be..........going forward...

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