TRAVELS INTO SEVERAL REMOTE NATIONS
OF THE WORLD
By Captain LEMUEL GULLIVER
PART IV.
A VOYAGE to KHILIASTICKA and
after-wards to the HOUYHNHNMS
I
continued at home with my Wife and Children about Five Months in a very happy
condition, if I could have learned the Lesson of knowing when I was well. I
left my poor Wife big with Child, and accepted an advantagious Offer made me to
be Captain of the Adventure,
a stout Merchant-man of 350 Tuns: For I understood Navigation well, and being
grown weary of a Surgeon’s Employment at Sea, which however I could exercise upon
occasion, I took a skilful young Man of that Calling, one Robert Purefoy,
into my Ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the second day of August,
1710; On the Fourteenth we met with Captain Pocock of Bristol at Tenariff,
who was going to the Bay of Campechy, to cut Logwood. On the Sixteenth,
he was parted from us by a Storm; I heard since my Return, that his Ship
foundered, and none escaped, but one Cabbin-Boy. He was an honest Man, and a
good Sailor, but a little too positive in his own Opinions, which was the Cause
of his Destruction, as it hath been of several others. For if he had followed
my Advice, he might have been safe at home with his Family at this Time, as
well as myself.
Four days
from quitting Captain Pocock at Tenariff and 100 Leagues South of
the Azores my Ship's Company discovered that several of our fresh Water Barrels
were holed and that an urgent Need for new Provision in this Respect pressed on
us. Amongst my Men was a Scotsman by the Name of McCrory. He made it
known to me that he had once been taken Prisoner near to Antigua and
obliged to serve for two Years on Board a Man of War from the Island Nation of Khiliasticka
which he believed nearest our Position.
On the Sixth
day a Boy on the Top-mast discovered Land and Signs of Humanity. A large and a
much smaller Island were descryed together with a third Island to the East
composed entirely of a Volcanoe. The Wind being northerly, and approaching from
the North East we ran South-West Half a League off the long North-West shoar of
the Island. McCrory agreed that this was indeed Khiliasticka.
By use of a Perspective-glass[1]
I had purchased in Woolwich I could see that the main Island rose high
out of the Sea and was well-cultivated. Beeves[2]
and Sheep grazed in well-ordered Pastures inclosed with good Fencing and Windmills
were plentiful. Smoke rose from many Habitations. On the opposed side of the
Island to ourselves I was able to distinguish the small Volcanic Island with a
little Smoak issuing from it. My Curiosity was rouzed by the long wide Strand
that ran on our side from the northern Tip of the larger Island diagonally to
its Western Extream. Beginning at the Tip were considerable Piles of darken’d Wood
in Heaps. After each Heap another, every one in a Gradation of lesser states of
Dilapidation than the last which signified, as we progressed South-West along
the shoar it was as though the true original Form of the Heaps disclosed itself
to us. It soon became clear that they were once finely crafted Vessels set on
towering Trestles which had collapsed with Age. The south-westerly Examples
were intact and made of new Wood. Planked, Ship-carpentered and caulked with
Competence, they were very broad of Beam and stoutly built with a deep Draught.
The Super-structure consisted of a wide, long House with a low Roof and a
Dove-Cote in the Prow giving the Vessels the appearance of nothing so much as Noah's
Ark[3].
I espyed a new set of Trestles with no Ship resting on it which completed the Procession
at its South Western end.
Ahead of us
began to rise the small Island situated just North of the larger Island’s
western Tip and divided from it by a Streight, by my Computation, of one Third
of a League in Width. On the main Island the procession of Arks was succeeded
by the Opening of a large Harbour. The first Half of this was devoted to a Miscellany
of Basons[4]
and Dry-docks, taken together forming a Dock-yard as impressive as that of Venice
or of Chatham or Portsmouth. Derricks and Cranes were in
abundance as were many-masted Merchantmen and Men of War tyed up on the Dock-sides.
This Array was again succeeded by the Habitations of a Town. McCrory
confirmed to me that this Metropolis was the capital Town of Khiliasticka.
By means of my Perspective-glass I was able to discern that these Habitations
gave Evidence of Prosperity in the Quality of their Decoration and Maintenance.
The Roofs were in excellent Repair, the Windows were plentiful and filled with Glass
and the stone Lintels richly carved. Publick Statues, Fountains and Flowers
abounded. I was under Perplexity of Mind occasioned by the seeming absence of any
Token of human Presence or Activity. Another Mystery I was at a loss to
understand was a Con-stellation of sparkling Lights that danced constantly about
the Town even in places where there were no Windows. The Lights, danced as
Sun-light does on the Sea in Summer.
It was my
Intention to weigh Anchor and lower the Long-Boat in order to enter the Harbour
and investigate the Town when The Adventure was overcome by a sudden
Flurry from the North-East and driven past the Harbour Mouth towards the lesser
Island. The Wind fell as suddenly as it had arisen and, noticing Signs of Habitation
and Husbandry equally on the small Island and the Convenience of a sufficient Jetty,
we took in our Sails, hove to and moored beneath the Island.
Above us we
could see a simple Chapel with a Bell-cot for a single Bell and the thatched
Cover of a Well where we hoped we might replenish our Water-barrels. We were
greeted hospitably at the Jetty by a bearded Man of middle Years and his
Children. McCrory revealed at this Juncture that he could speak the
Tongue of Khiliasticka having been obliged to learn it on board the Man
of War in which he had been pressed into Service. He was content to act as my Interpreter.
The Native of the small Island gave his Name as Khelat Per Zhall. He
invited myself and my Landing-party to take the Steps up to the Farm-stead
wherein he dwelt. He presented his Wife to us and, with great Courtesy,
consented to my Men drawing Spring-water from his Well for the replenishment of
our Provisions. He also consented to dining on board The Adventure that
evening. His Wife was pleased to give us Refreshment in the Form of a small[5]
Cyder. Khelat Per Zhall also shewed
me his Family’s House and their Chapel from which it was evident that they were
properly observant of their Religion. This Chapel contained simple Statues, the
Scriptures of that Religion and an Altar-Table.
That Evening,
encouraged by the Presence of McCrory who was able to converse in his
language, I asked Khelet how he and his Family came to live in Separation
from the Inhabitants of the Metropolis. In Answer he related the Tale of his Determination
to remove himself and his Family to the smaller island for Reasons of religious
Dissension. He told me that, in their Idleness and much in the manner of the
Israelites when they began to worship the Golden Calf in the Absence of Moses[6],
above ten Years before, the Khiliasts had happened on vicious and novel Creeds
and Practices of their own Invention which had turned them into a Sect. According
to the Chain of Being[7]
and in the true Humility to which their Station obliged them their old Religion
enjoyned them to show Gratitude to their Creator and to his Minister on earth,
their King who, for the Care of them shewed much Diligence. Their new Creed
turned upside down such Doctrine. Instead of Gratitude for the Blessings of the
Condition of being human and of its Sustenance they practised perverse Scorn
and Derision for them. In their Conception the more they were seen to take Pleasure
in trampling on and rejecting their Humanity the more they demonstrated the Virtue
of Humility. This led them to strive ostentatiously in Rivalry with each other
in the Degree of Abasement they could atchieve. They derided the Gift of being
sapient Creatures above mere Animals and even took Pleasure in counting
themselves as lesser than Crows and Apes. Their newly created Humility
was in truth the Opposite of and an inversion of true Humility and signified instead
that their Hearts were filled with Pride – a Pride taken in how humble they
were. Hearing of such Perversion it was easy to understand Khelet’s Disgust
and the Cause of his Desire to remove himself and his family apart from this Sect
of Inversion.
Next he
explained that the people of the Town were all engaged that day in an annual
religious Festival of great Moment to them. This explained to me the Absence of
human Activity. I pressed him further as to the Nature of their religious Practices
and, being of a hospitable Character, he offered to act as my Guide on a Visit
to Khiliasticka – for that was the Name he gave the larger Island. I
asked Khelat if he feared meeting his former Country-men from whom he
had dissented so violently. He told me that he had visited the Festival on
several Occasions before out of Curiosity and had succeeded in not being
recognised by disguising him self. He told me it was his Custom on such
Occasions to wear a leathern Mask covering half of his Face and the principal
Lineaments of his Countenance and to give out, if asked, that he was the Victim
of burning and Laceration in a Fire which had made his Face unsightly. I
accepted his kind Offer and, the next morning, the Wind having settled and the
Day set fair, we left The Adventure tyed at the Jetty and embarked in
the Long-boat with Khelat Per Zhall and McCrory in the Party. Landing
at the Quayside in the Harbour of Khiliasticka we found the Town as
deserted as it had appeared the day before.
Immediately
on disembarking the Mystery of the dancing Lights was resolved for me. In many
Places, on Squares, on Streets and on the Quay-side were placed long Fences
twelve Foot high. These Fences bore silvered Glasses attached to them like
those found on a Lady’s Dressing Table but of a giant Proportion. Everywhere we
went we were accompanied, consequently, by our own Reflexions which was a
disturbing Sensation for me. Glancing through the Windows of the Habitations I
was able to see rich Furnishings and musical Instruments such as Guittars, Spinets
and Lutes. Khelat found some fine Horses which had been left with plenty
of Water and Oats in a nearby Stable so that we were able to quit the Town
towards the Interior of the Island. I was relieved to find that the giant
Glasses ceased as we left the outer Precincts of the Town.
I asked him,
by Means of McCrory, further in point of the great Appearance of
Prosperity and Industry of the Isle, Town and Dock-yard. He told me that this
was due to the countenance and encouragement of the King who was a renowned
Patron of Learning. He had made it his Business, in his Youth, to make
Mercantile Oeconomy[8]
one of many studies effected in Venice, London and Antwerp.
Returning to Khiliasticka he had guaranteed the extensive Prosperity of
his Subjects by instructing them in the Wisdom he had acquired in the Domains
of Iron-smelting, Animal Husbandry, Agri-culture, Glass-blowing and Maritime
Commerce. As a result of his good Offices on their Behalf his Subjects lived in
considerable Comfort and Security while the King was able to live chiefly upon
his Demesnes[9]
without troubling the Khiliasts with Subsidies[10]
brought upon them. He told me that such was the Opulence the King had brought
to their Land through the good Ordering of their Industry that his Subjects,
discounting, of course, their Domesticks, had many hours of Leisure at their
Disposal and it was this that had led to the Idleness which was a Cause of
their Folly.
The Road
rose to a Hill which our Party mounted with Ease on our fine Coursers. Reaching
the Summit of the Hill a grand Prospect was laid out before us. A wide Valley
was shewn with, at its extreme End, a grand Demesne inclosing a Palace and
voluminous Royal Parks and Woods of at least twenty Stangs[11]
within a circular Wall of hewn Stone with iron Gates. The Demesne lay at half a
League’s Distance. I concluded that this must be the Residence of the King of Khiliasticka
which Conclusion Khelat confirmed to me. He told me the Demesne was
named the King’s Kapital[12].
In the
Fore-ground, in the Valley’s Bottom was a Ring of Tents and luxurious Pavilions
encircling a large Ground in the Semblance of a Country Show in which a Variety
of Diversions was taking place. At the Center of the Show-ground a large number
of what appeared as Emmets from our Hillock swarmed around a new Ark set on a
Stage fashioned in Beams of Wood. Khelat informed me that the grand Festival
of the Catastrophe lay before me. I could descry a Multitude of human
Figures moving across the Ground and around the Tents. We began to descend. Arriving
in the Valley Bottom we dismounted so as the easier to investigate the Festival
and the Khiliasts on foot. My first Observations were of the Appearance
of the Khiliasts and their Habit[13].
The Ladies bore Gowns of watered Silk resplendent with Figures of Gold and
Silver. Their Petticoats were of the finest Lace and they wore Pearls and
Diamonds fastned in their Hair and on their Forms. The Gentlemen were dressed
finely in the European Manner and wore plumed silver Helmets and Swords
sheathed in golden Scabbards enriched with Diamonds. More remarkable than the
Extravagance of their Attire was a singular Accoutrement that each wore. Framed
around their Necks and placed over their Shoulders was a small Harness in the
form of a metal Bracket which held a small Glass of the size of a Lady’s
Hand-glass beneath their Visage at the top of their Chest. The Glass was so
tilted that, at all times, these Persons of Quality could observe their every
Expression. It was evident that they did or said few things without verifying
the Attitudes that they struck in the silvered Glass about their Necks. Much of
their Attention was given to this Activity. I saw many of them making Grimaces
and complaisant Smiles at their Glass. It seem’d, in truth, that they had
brought portable Versions of the Mirrors of giant Proportions that adorned
their Town by the Harbour-side. Only the Domesticks and the Children were not
furnished in this way.
In point of
Domesticks these Persons were attended by an Army of Valets, Ladies-in-waiting,
Cooks, Waiters, Servants, Handicrafts[14],
Postilions, Coachmen, Grooms and Ostlers for their Horses and Carriages. The
Servicing of their Needs was largely conducted outside the Circle behind the
Tents. It was here that the Victuals, Dainties and Delicacies that they
consumed were dressed.
The
Festival-ground was broad of a Diameter of a Quarter of an English Mile
and arranged into a Variety of Tryals and Contests, in which the Khiliastick Nobility
and Gentry particularly encouraged their children, with Prizes awarded to the
best Attempts. At one Point on the Circumference of the Show-ground was a Table
of great Length at which sate a row of venerable Professors, Virtuosi[15],
Projectors[16], Universal
Artists[17]
and Doctors in the Manner of Jurymen and in the greatest Solemnity with all of
the outward Tokens of their Learning on Display. It was they who judged the
Outcome of the Tryals and Contests making Judgements and Pronouncements from
whence there could be no Appeal. These grave Personages were known as The
Panel.
To aid my
understanding of the Spectacles before me Khelat thought it fit to
describe to me somewhat the Khiliastick Religion and its Import. He told
me that a great Virtuoso, the most venerable, indeed, at The Panel,
sitting in his Hours of Idleness, had suffered a Series of Visions or
Revelations concerning the End of Days. These he had committed to
Parchment and given the name of The Apocalyptick Prognostickations. Thereafter
these served as the Scriptures of the new Khiliastick Religion.
The Import
of these Scriptures was that the Prosperity and Contentedness of the King’s Island
was a Chimaera[18]
given Creedence only by Fools and Blockheads. Those things that bore the
Semblance of great Benefit were, truly, the Occasions of great Disaster. It had
been revealed to the Professor that a Cataclysm of terrible Proportions was
imminent. This was to be engendered by the Heat from the Island’s Smithys, the
Furnaces of the Glass-blowers and the Dock-yard, the Establishment of all of
which the King had so encouraged, and from the Multitude of domestick Fires.
All, taken together, would burn a Hole in the Sky. Through this Hole would
enter Comets with blazing Tails and Fire-balls from the Sun which must end in a
Conflagration of the Island. The Sky and the Clouds would fall to Earth with
great Combustion and the Habitations of the Khiliasts, the Kapital, the
Metropolis and the Dock-yard would be devoured in an infernal Blaze.
In addition
to the disastrous Effect of the Smithys and Furnaces it was revealed to the Virtuoso
that the Flatus[19]
and Ructations[20]
issuing from Cattell and Horses and even from the Islanders themselves, taken
together with Emanations of a Natural Gas generated from Leaves turning to faetid
purulent Matter after their Fall from the Trees were adding to the Erosion of
the Clouds. Because it increased the Volume of Flatus from Live-stock kept for
eating the Consumption of Shoulders, Legs, Loins and other Joynts of Animal
Flesh was deemed a Sin. In the same Manner the Use of Wool and Leather for the
making of Cloaths was despized.
Many Trees
were felled each Year in the Forests of the Island for Timber to make the Ships
in the Khiliast Navy and for the Merchant-men and other Barques[21].
The Virtuoso condemned this Practice for the Reason that the Trees removed the
Natural Gas from the Air that burned a Hole in the Sky.
The first
Signs that the general Conflagration was to be visited on the Island would be
Fires in the Forests and a Rising of the Ocean’s Waters to overwhelm the Metropolis
and the Dock-yard. A young Prophetess would arise in the last Days tearing her
Weeds[22]
in the Manner of Job[23].
She would be known by her braided Hair and her Denunciation of earthly
Kings as Satans. This Maid would un-Mask these Evil-doers in their true
Nature – as dysmal Architects of the Extinction of the Earth rather than great
Benefactors of their People. If there were Apostates from this Creed in some
Quarters such Schismatics of Religion would be taken as infallible Proof of its
Veracity. In this Way the Sheep would be divided from the Goats.
This Account
aided me in my Understanding of how, in Addition to the moral Causes described
before by Khelat, the Khiliasts rejoyced in the Occasions the
vain Prognostickations afforded them for Play-acting, Dramatick Conceits
and other Distractions. In the Opinion of Khelat the Khiliasts took
Pleasure and found Entertainment in the constant Condition of Disquietude and
Disturbance of Mind these Apprehensions and Alarms engendered and in the
Opportunities for Zeal and Evangelism they afforded to them as a Remedy to
their Idleness.
Khelat further related that it was chiefly
the Eminences of the Panel who sustained the Apprehensions of Calamity
in the Minds of the remaining Mortals of the Island. It was they who confirmed
the Visions of the Virtuoso who wrote the Apocalyptick Prognostickations by
means of regular Observations of the Effluvia of the Sun[24],
Changes in the Celestial Bodies and in the Progress of certain Comets and of
the Levels of the Sea and the Temperature of the Air. For these Purposes they
used a large Selection of mathematickal measuring Instruments, Globes, Rules,
Compasses, Quadrants and Astrolabes. These Paraphernalia conferred an Authority,
and Reverence as great as that attendant on Priests on them.
As a
Consequence the Khiliasts had little Time for the common Pleasures or
Amusements of Life and all their Conversation was taken up in Questions about
the Health of the Sun and the latest Reports of the Panel. Their chief
Discovery was of a guiding Purpose in their complaisant Idleness. It also gave
them Contentment to know that they were virtuous in their constant Condition of
Disturbance.
Our Party
descended to the Show-ground and I am content to gratify the curious Reader
with a Catalogue of the Tryals and Contests I observed.
Contest
of Remedys for the Flatus of Live-stock
Various
learned Doctors presented Remedys to assembled Crouds for reducing or
eliminating the noxious Flatus of Animals. In some cases Pipes were inserted in
the Orifice of the Fundament or Anus of various Beeves and Cows. These Pipes
were then led to Holes in the Ground to carry the Harmful Vapours into
sub-terranean Caves. In other Remedys the Pipes were led to the Mouth of the
Creature and attached there using a form of fixed Bridle. This was known as the
Circular or Closed System. Employing a Series of Spigots and a
Bellows included in the System the Doctors were able to draw Flatus from inside
the Creatures by opening the Bellows and then, by closing off certain Spigots
and shutting the Bellows, drive the Gas into the Mouth. I observed that some
Cattell and Sheep so accoutred and used in this Manner died on the Spot. Other
Doctors of Physick conducted Experiments with Restringents[25]
and enteric Tinctures[26]
with the Design of restraining or eliminating entirely the Movements of the Bowels
of Cows, Oxen and Sheep. I apprehended some Yews and Rams that had taken Part
in this Experiment that were also Dead. These divers Experiments were attended
with a lamentable Lowing and Bellowing of Animals.
The
Removal of the purulent Matter from Falling Leaves
Some
Projectors toiled at Contrivances for preventing the falling of Leaves from
Trees. These consisted of forms of sticky Pitch and Gums which were smeared on
Leaves while still on the Trees to attach them in Permanence. I also witnessed
Devices resembling small Bags and Nets fixed under each Branch to arrest the
Descent of Leaves to the Earth. The Leaves collected in this Manner would be
buried in large Pits in the Ground.
The
Volcano-stopping Contest
A Professor
had discovered that great Quantities of a Natural Gas of the Species burning a
Hole in the Sky issued from the Island’s Volcano. He conjectured that the
Quantity of Vapour produced in this way was greater than that created by all
Human Industry. This Volcano had never caused Harm to the Inhabitants but the
Professor and some in Rivalry with him laboured diligently at inventing Plugs
and Stoppers with which to clog the Volcano, Rafts whereby to transport them to
the Island of the Volcano and Scaffolding and Hoists whereby to raise them to
the Rim.
The
Contest of the Fire Machines
Khelat told me that the King had instituted
a Bucket Brigade[27]
in the town and issued an Edict whereby every Citizen must keep a filled Bucket
of Water on his Door Step in the event of Fire in Bakers or in Residences. All
such Events had, hitherto, been successfully addressed in this Manner. In
spight of this in one part of the Ground was a Contest for the best Contrivance
made for the quenching of the Fires that would spring up in the End of Days.
There was an Array of Machines, Contraptions and Engines that had been imagined
and executed by Khiliasts as a Pass-time. Some of the Machines were
fixed on the Earth. Others were mounted on Waggons. Every Kind of Materials
including Pistons, Piston-rods, Syringes, Screws, Pumps, Rain-water Cisterns,
Tubs, Buckets, Ropes, Cordage, Cables, Webbing, Hose-pipes and Leather (a
particular Dispensation had been granted for its Use in this Respect) in every
Combination conceived by the Genius of Man was in Evidence. There was also a
Collection of Mats on Sticks and Canes for the beating of Fires. Much Time was devoted
to demonstrating the Operation of the Contrivances and Inventions. Some of the
Machines were notable for it being possible to convert them into Pumps for use
against Flouds, Deluges and Inundations. Khelat gave me to understand
that some of these Inventions from earlier Festivals had proved of Use in
improving on the Bucket Brigades and in emptying Dry-docks of Sea-water.
The Ark
On our
Arrival it was evident that this Vessel was almost completed. Khelat told
me that, on the Morning after the Festival it would be dragged on the Trunks of
Trees by an Hundred Labourers with Cables to its Resting-place on the shoar by
the Town and raised onto the new Trestle waiting there. Then it would be filled
with Victuals for the Moment when the Ocean rose and a few chosen Inhabitants were
obliged to put out to Sea.
Substitutes
for Meat and Leather
Cooks, under
the Direction of Virtuosi, dressed Vegetable Matter made from Nuts, Bark, Seeds,
Dust, Grit from the Ground and Wood Shavings to look like Meat, fashioning it
in the Shape of Chitterlings[28],
Hams, Joynts and Loins of Meat in order to deceive those consuming it that it
was the Flesh of Animals. Professors from the Panel took turns to taste
the Dishes offered. I witnessed some privately spitting the Fare on the Ground
in manifest Disgust.
Cobblers
strove to make Shooes and Gloves from the Leaves of Palms. Cloaths were
prepared using Paper from old Books. These Cloaths were largely used to make
the Livery for Servants.
Domes for
when the sky falls in
A
considerable number of Engineers and Smyths worked at the Manufacture of Iron
Domes. Most were not so wide by ten Paces as the Cupola at St Paul’s but
of a Bigness sufficient to be placed over single Houses by being raised there
by Pullys. Metal Plates were attached together with Bolts to form a Protection
against the Falling of the Sky and the Clouds onto the Houses. A Dispensation
was given for the Employment of Furnaces for this Purpose. Many of the Domes
had small Windows let into them against the Darkness they would cause in the
Houses and they were also supplied with Doors at their Rim.
Vehicles
not pulled by Horse-power
In this
Contest means were sought whereby Vehicles could be propelled using other Means
than Horses, Oxen and Asses because of the Danger and harmful Effect of their
excessive Flatus. I spied Vehicles driven by large Springes of the Type used in
Gins[29]
and Traps that were compressed by being wound like Clock-work by Servants. I
also saw Waggons with Sails known as Eolian Waggons which would only Run on
Days when the Wind blew. Other Learned Men were working at the making of Carriages
known as Down-hill Carriages that had to be raised up Hills and pulled on Flat
Ground using Cables by Teams of Attendants just as Close chairs[30]
are transported. One Projector was greatly satisfied by a Scheme that he
considered would remove two Difficulties at a Stroak. He had harnessed two
Asses behind a Waggon with their Noses touching the Waggon. By scituating Cones
made of Metal with their narrowest Point in the Anus of the Creatures and
obliging a Servant bearing a Torch to light the Flatus of the Beasts whenever
it emerged it was hoped that the Vehicle could be driven forward. For this
Purpose sets of small Wheels were attached to the Hooves of the Creatures. Another
Projector worked with Load-Stones[31]
placed in Vehicles. A group of Attendants were directed to run before the
Vehicle carrying another Load-Stone while a further Group with a third
Load-Stone ran behind with which to attract or repel the Vehicle and thus cause
it to make Progress. Yet another Projector laboured with Retorts, Flasks and
Flames in an Enterprize to find Gas from Water that would set Vehicles in
Motion by Explosion. His Companion Projector worked at a System of moving
Vehicles by Means of a strong Reservoir made in Iron of Ten-Thousand Gallons of
Water held at an Elevation of one Hundred Feet by the Use of Stilts. The
Vehicles’ four Wheels were in the Form of Water-wheels taken from Mills set in
Rivers. At a given Moment Water was released by a Series of Hoses from the
Reservoir downwards onto each Wheel to set them in Motion, with the used Water
being returned to the Reservoir by other Hoses and Pumps. The chief Difficulty
that this Projector strove to overcome was the Transport of the Reservoir
behind the Vehicle, Water weighing so heavily as it does that it continually
broke the Stilts. He also had a Difficulty in keeping his Passengers dry but
was devoting much time to this with his Assistants.
Contest
for the Measurement of the Level of the Sea and of the Temperature
In this
Contest Projectors and Doctors worked with Rules, Glass Tubes with Calibrations
and Scales and Measuring Sticks to record the Rising and Falling of the Sea.
These Sticks were of the kind employed in Rivers In England but they differed
by reaching to Lengths ten times as long. I also witnessed a Range of Thermoscopes[32],
Barometers and Thermometers.
The
Enclosure for Moral Contests
One Section
of the Circumference of the Show-ground was behind a Cordon. In the area
enclosed by the Cordon a range of Moral Contests took place which I will
describe below.
The Dance
of Abasement
A Stick made
of Cane was set on rests attached to two upright Sticks so that the first Stick
was parallel to the Horizon. Beneath it Water was thrown so that a large
Quantity of Mud was created. Gentlemen from the Nobility removed their fine
Coats, their Shooes and their Stockins while retaining their Breeches and their
Shirts of Lawn[33].
Each Participant then proclaimed loudly ‘I and my Kind are a disgusting
Abomination unworthy to be upon the Earth!’ before competing to creep under the
Stick according as it was depressed and to grovel as profoundly into the Dust
and Water as possible. The Object was to squander and trample upon their
created Humanity as a thing of Derision to a greater Degree than their Fellows
could atchieve it. A large Audience observed and applauded this Contest. The
Applause was greatest for those who succeeded in abasing themselves to the
largest Extent and which arose filthily bemired to the greatest Extream. It was
very horrible to see such Refinement and Ornament so willingly and perversely
turned to Trash. I was at a Loss to understand why Creatures who thus gave
every publick Appearance of despising themselves smiled so much and seemed so
satisfied by themselves.
Politeness
Contests
In these
Contests the Object was to win by exceeding the Politeness of your Rivals. A
Door-way was set up on the Ground and Persons of Quality would beg each other,
with the making of Reverences[34]
and the Removal and flourishing of Hats, to precede them through the Door. The
Contest functioned on the Principle of Attrition. The Victor was the Gentleman
who succeeded in never accepting his Opponent’s Invitation and shewing superior
Virtue in his Want of Selfishness. This Contest was extended to include the
Discovery of how many People of divers Races a Gentleman could allow to pass
through the Door before him. In so doing he conveyed the worthlessness of his
own Race by Comparison. For this Purpose Blackamoor[35]
Sailors and some from other Races such as Barbary[36]
Arabs pressed into Service on Khiliast Merchant-men were employed often
against their Will. There was also a Contest for the Gentlemen who could
exhibit a superior Solicitude towards Ladies who dropped their Kerchiefs in the
Mud. I observed a wild Scramble in the Mud between four Gentlemen before one of
them arose bearing the be-smirched Kerchief victoriously in his Hand. In all of
these Contests the Rivals who took Part spent much Time glancing at them selves
in their silvered Glasses. I could not forebear thinking that the true Design
of the Gentlemen may be the gaining of the Lady’s Favour rather than burnishing
the Quality of their Gallantry.
The
Contest of the Flagellants
In one
Corner of the Section I attested a Variety of Gentlemen and Ladies engaged in
beating themselves with Whips, Brambles and Thorns in forms of Mortification of
the Flesh of the Kind indulged in by Martin Luther[37].
In this case the Object was to shew how cheaply they counted them selves and
their Finery much as the Rivals in the Dance of Abasement had done. The
chief Object of their Derision was the Privilege that marked them out as
Persons of Quality. I remarked that solely Persons of Quality were permitted to
take Part. I saw many, after their Exertions, having their bleeding Wounds
dressed and Spines extracted by their Servants and Maids. While these Gentry
smiled into their Mirrors, the Servants were also charged with disposing of
their Instruments of Self-torture.
The
Punishment of Apostates
Also
enclosed within the Cordon were Cages, Stocks and Pillories for the Punishment
of Skepticks, Heretics and Deniers, such Apostates being confined
therein. The Children of the Persons of Quality, given Leave by their Parents,
rejoyced in throwing Quantities of purulent Fruit and Vegetables provided to
that End at these sorry Creatures. Each Apostate was marked out by the wearing
around his or her Neck, instead of a silvered Glass, a Notice on a Thread with
Nothing inscribed on it. By means of McCrory Khelat apprized me of the
Manner in which the Ignominy of the Victims was made compleat by the
Interdiction of the Pursuit of their Livelihood. I apprehended the Sentiment
and the Trembling of Khelat occasioned by witnessing this Prospect. He was
in no Doubts that, were he discovered, he might suffer a similar Fate for the
Sin of dissenting from the Apocalyptick Prognostickations.
The Culmination
of the Festival of the Catastrophe in the Frenzy
I was in
great Admiration[38] at
the Variety and Quality of the Contests and in a Degree of Disquiet of Mind at
some. At this Juncture I became sensible of
a freckled Maid in a Smock with her hair in Braids issuing from one of
the grander Pavilions. I asked Khelat who she was. He told me that she
was considered to be the Prophetess who must arise in the Last Days and
that she took Part in the Festival each Year. He further informed me that the
wealthiest Families paid this Maid handsomely to visit their Pavilions with the
Object of denouncing them for the Refinement of their Habit and the
Extravagance of the Fare which they consumed and the Wines which they drank.
The Maid would point her Finger at them and tell them that they were degenerate
Curs mired in the most scandalous Corruption. They were gratified by this for
it gave them an exquisite Pleasure and there was great Rivalry amongst the
great Families of the Metropolis to be used in this way by the Maid. Indeed,
those Families who did not succeed in availing them selves of her Services
considered that they had failed to pay their Debts to the Deity.
It was at
this Time that Darkness began to fall and our Party witnessed Events which I
labour in great Perplexity and Vexation to understand to this Day. The Maid
emerged from a grand Pavilion and walked towards the Ark at the Centre of the Show-ground
and set her Face in the Direction of the King’s Demesne known as his Kapital
at the end of the Valley beyond the Show-ground. At this Signal many Hundreds
of Persons of Quality, together with their Children, began to issue from their
Tents to form a great Procession behind the Maid. Many Servants and Attendants
busied themselves in furnishing their Masters and Mistresses with Objects and
Accoutrements. At first they aided them in polishing the finely smelted golden
and silver Frames of their Mirrors and the Surface of the Mirrors themselves. They
then equipped them with a Variety of Arms including Pikes, Distaffs, Swords and
Cudgells. Next this Croud of gentle Folk was provided with Drums, Tambours and
Fifes. Some bore Chains that their Valets and Ladies-in-waiting had given to
them and others received Brushes, Pots of Paint and Torches into their Hands.
They were given Banners which they raised high. On some were Designs depicting
a blazing Globe and divers Slogans in Writing. Some of these shewed as – Money
is not our God!- The King is to blame! – The Demon Prosperity – Industry is our
Downfall! I apprehended that some of the Ladies from the Town had donned
Head-gear in the Form of Flames. Many of their Children began to dance wildly
about them. I witnessed Four Daughters of the Gentry insert them selves into
one continuous Costume, blue in Colour, representing the Sea and the Raising of
its Level.
Khelat told me by Means of McRory
that the Ritual of the Frenzy was about to begin. The Prophetess carried
a strong Staff which she raised at the Head of the Procession before she began
to walk in the Direction of the Kapital. The Procession followed her
and, at this Point, the Drums and Tambours were beaten, the Fifes were sounded
and an Antiphon began, sung by a leading Cantor and answered in
Responses by the Crouds in the Procession. We heard –
Cantor – What
side are you? Response – Life!
What side is he? Death!
Who are you? The
People!
Who are they? The Money!
And who am I? The
Sciences!
And who am I? Natural
Philosophy![39]
And who will not listen? The ignorant!
And who will not listen? The King!
This Antiphon
was repeated and intoned like a Dirge as the Procession advanced. This caused
me to give Expression to Khelat to my Fears for the King, his Family and
his Court. Khelat answered that the King had learned to make shift to
leave his Palace at this time each Year and to stay with his Family, Ministers
and Persons of Distinction on his best-equipped Man of War for a few Days a
League from Khiliasticka behind the Volcanoe Island until the Frenzy was
spent and their Safety could be guaranteed.
I espied
that the Procession had reached the iron Gates of the King’s Royal Park. Those
who formed the Procession pressed against the Gates and the Walls in which they
were set. Some set to dawbing the Walls with red Paint while others tore at the
Gates and pulled them down with Chains. A small number attached themselves to Palisadoes
with Chains and Locks and refused to yield up the Key. The Majority entered the
Park and began to use their Cudgells and Distaffs to beat upon the Walls and
Windows of a Smithy placed before the King’s Palace. Khelat told me that
each Year the King ordered a Place of Industry such as a Smithy[40]
or a Glass-blowing Furnace to be constructed by his Servants in his Park for
the Purpose of being destroyed in the Frenzy in this Manner. The Crowd
now set Fire to the Smithy and attacked the Walls with great Vehemence loading
it and the King with all the Curses and injurious Terms their Language could
afford. The King had also required that the Timber for several large Beacon
Fires be set in Heaps which the Invaders rejoyced in igniting. They advanced
towards the Edifice of the Kapital before which stood the Officers of
the King’s Bodyguard with the Design of beginning Skirmishes. Many Threatenings
and Injuries were made to the Guard who were struck and dawbed with Paint.
My Brain was
more and more disturbed by this Prospect and the Encrease in the Uproar and
Tumult of the Attack. Suddenly the Prophetess stepped forward and, after
pointing her Finger at the Palace in Accusation, directed a Bugler who
accompanied her to give a Blast on his Instrument. Immediately the Beseigers of
the Kapital turned from their violent Enterprize and silently departed
from the Royal Park in compleat Docility. I conjectured that the Fewel[41]
of their Discontent was used and now extinguished. They returned, without
talking, in the Direction of the Show-ground and their Tents and Pavilions.
In the Peace
that now prevailed I enquired of Khelat the Reason for what we had
observed. He told us that the King had come to conceive that his People were
desirous, in spight of the great Benefactions he bestowed on them, of
demonstrating before the World that they were not his Subjects and Children.
The Apocalyptick Prognostickations gave them Leave to shew to him that
their Philosophy of the World was of a superior Complexion to his and that they
were greater in Wisdom and in Care for their Children. For a Day they wished to
shew that they were the Adults and that the King was no more than a foolish and
wayward Child. The good King had
understood that, if he allowed the Expression of this Pride to spend itself in
the Ritual of the Frenzy each Year without opposing it, the Kingdom
would be able to continue in Contentment and Industry with no Harm to him self
or his Subjects for the Rest of the Year, a Theory which had been proved in
Practice to his Satisfaction. In two Days he and his Court would return to the Kapital.
Khelat confided in me that, in recent
times, he had begun a Correspondence in Secrecy with the Minister of the King
who was his Cousin. This Minister had given Expression in his Epistles to Khelat
of his fear that each year the Ferocity of the Frenzy had encreased. For
this Reason he could not forbear from being in Doubt that, one year, the Khiliasts
may not murder the royal Guards and destroy the Kapital entirely. In
this fear he had laboured in Difficulty to persuade the King of its Justification.
It being now
the early Hours of the Morning Khelat deemed it politick that our Party
should withdraw for fear that, the Attention of the Khiliasts now being
taken away from the Festival, we, and in Particular him self, should be
discovered as Strangers among their Number. For this Reason we mounted our
Coursers and returned to the still deserted Metropolis at the Port in the
Knowledge that the Khiliasts would soon follow us to their Habitations. Having
restored our Horses to their Stable we embarked again in our Long-boat and
rowed back to The Adventure moored at the Jetty of the lesser Island. We
made our Farewells to Khelat and thanked him sincerely for his Services.
We gave him a Bracelet and Glass-rings for his daughter and his Wife and the
kind of Toys which Sailers usually provide them selves with in those Voyages
for his Son.
Continuation
of A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS
I had
several Men died in my Ship of Calentures, so that I was forced to get Recruits
out of Barbados, and
the Leeward Islands, where I touched by the Direction of the Merchants
who employed me, which I had soon too much cause to repent; for I found
after-wards that most of them had been Bucaneers………
[1]
Telescope
[2]
Oxen
[3] Genesis
6-9
[4]
Docks
[5] Of
low or non-alcoholic content
[6] Exodus
32
[7] A
reference to the Great Chain of Being, which was thought to extend, without
interruption or break from God to the angels to humans, down to the smallest
insect and plants.
[8] Rules
concerning a mode of living
[9]
Domains or properties
[10]
Taxes
[11] A
rood or one fourth of an acre
[12]
Some early editions spell this as Khapital but it is clear that Swift
altered this to Kapital in later editions.
[13]
Clothing
[14]
Manual workers
[15] A
scientist, savant or scholar
[16]
Based on members of the Royal Society, chartered in 1662 by Charles II, who
carried out “Projects” for the “improvement” or “universal benefit” of mankind,
often by means of scientific enquiry.
[17]
This refers to polymaths who were expert in areas like Mathematics or Chemistry
as well as Theology and Politics. Robert Boyle and Isaac Newton were considered
such.
[18]
Fanciful notion
[19]
Gas
[20]
Belching
[21]
Smaller sea-going vessels
[22]
Garments
[23] Job
1:20
[24]
Sunspots
[25]
Drugs to restrain bowel movements
[26]
Medicinal solutions, usually alcoholic, for the treatment of the bowel
[27]
An early version of a Citizens’ Fire Brigade
[28]
Similar to modern sausages
[29] A
form of trap
[30]
Sedan chairs
[31] A
piece of magnetic oxide used as a magnet. As several scholars have suggested,
Swift’s ideas on magnetism might derive from William Gilbert’s De Magnete
(1600).
[32]
An early version of the thermometer
[33]
Fine linen
[34] Bows
[35]
Black
[36]
The north coast of Africa
[37][37]
German religious reformer
[38]
Astonishment or surprise
[39]
Science
[40]
Blacksmith’s
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